Graduated...and I'm Off....

I am done---"officially" done. Commencement was this morning. I am sitting on my desk, as it was when I got here. about 9 months in this space. I'm off to far and wide and magical places--I feel it in the air. Maybe that's just Bostonian pollution.
I'm also into the introspective depths of my soul. Can't I just damn relax for a week? I'll figure it out.

Life moves faster than the speed of light. I'm aiming to soak it all up--to trust--to get all I can in every minute. All we have is one life--atleast, in this body.
I'm going to be spending a lot of time by myself on this trip. I'm going to come back a hell of a lot healthier with an earthier perspective. Rejuvenated for grantwriting and funding work for Nicaragua.

Our waiter out to dinner tonight had a french accent. He was a Black man with a fun loving smile--professional fine dining server. At the end of the night, I asked where he was from--"Haiti," he answers. I say, "great! Everyone okay for the earthquake?" his smile lightly dies. "No--lost 4." I didn't have the words to express my sudden clash of reality. My tipsy hand touched his arm, "I'm so sorry," I said.
I had a french martini--pink with pineapple. That got me off to a silly little start. By the end of the dinner, I was closing my eyes to taste every morsel of my delicious food. I was tipsy for sure. My aunt put the phone to my ear to speak with my grandmother and other aunt. All I heard--"please be careful, the kids want to see you, please spend time with us we haven't seen you in so long." It breaks my heart. It breaks my heart deeply to know how much they worry about me and my travels. But, I also have this free-spirited explorative nature. How can I feed both? "Nurture relationships" my good friend and tarot reader says. I am trying. Sometimes, particularly this weekend, I've felt so selfish about all my drive to travel and explore. I hope my family knows just how much I love them. I assure them I will be back. I need to go out, explore, do this.

It's 1AM and I'm still awake, uploading videos from the recital. I need some sleep to get up in the AM--leave at 6:15AM...boarding a plane at 9:28AM. So exciting--liberating--and nerve-wrecking. C'est La Vie.